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Emotional immaturity is the tendency to express emotions without restraint or that are excessive for the situation. Some key characteristics of a person behaving with emotional immaturity include selfishness, difficulty in relationships, and inadequate communication skills.
As a result, they may avoid people and conversations, or they make jokes during serious emotional conflicts. Some of the characteristics are similar to narcissistic personality disorder in a lesser form. Mental health professionals may refer to it as maladjustment.
Emotional immaturity is a person’s inability to regulate their emotions in an age-appropriate way. People who display emotional immaturity may overreact to situations or have trouble controlling their emotions.
While emotional immaturity can negatively affect relationships, research has shown that it can also negatively impact a person’s professional development and ability to learn new skills.
People have different capacities for emotional maturity. They may display mature behaviors in some situations and immature behaviors in others. For example, they may display emotionally mature behavior in professional situations but immature behavior at home.
Although research isn’t clear on the exact cause of all cases of adult emotional immaturity, one factor is a strong association between being mistreated or abused as a child and how the brain develops. Other factors include culture, socioeconomic status, and relationships with peers.
Behavior, thinking, and communication skills are all affected by emotional immaturity. You may notice that a person’s emotions escalate significantly, similar to how a child would react. They may cry easily, get overly angry, or throw a temper tantrum when they don’t get their way.
Other behavioral signs include:
Some examples of emotional maturity vs. emotional immaturity include:
By comparison, displaying emotional maturity is behaving in an adult-like manner when dealing with other people. However, communication is difficult for people behaving with emotional immaturity, and this can drive their behaviors in situations where they feel attacked or backed into a corner.
A person behaving with emotional immaturity exhibits similar characteristics as those with narcissistic personality disorder. Emotional immaturity is considered to be a less severe form of this type of mental health disorder.
People with narcissist traits often believe that they are better than other people and are entitled to special treatment. This is similar to how people behaving with emotional immaturity people think about themselves, though to a lesser degree.
People who behave with emotional immaturity often think of themselves first, assuming that everything around them is an extension of their world. Because of this type of thinking, they rely heavily on receiving only positive attention. They will steer clear of any sort of difficult, negative, or overwhelming situations that require thinking of others' feelings.
When a person with narcissism doesn’t get what they want or is forced to participate in things that threaten their identity or challenge their behaviors, they may react like a person behaving with emotional immaturity. This can involve:
If you are in a relationship with a person who displays emotional immaturity, you may have seen and experienced behaviors and traits associated with the condition. These relationships can be emotionally draining and consistently difficult because issues do not get resolved.
You may often end up feeling unhappy, lonely, and unsure about the future of the relationship. In some cases, anger outbursts or other behaviors associated with emotional immaturity can fall under the category of emotional abuse. They include:
In the instance that these behaviors have escalated to consistent emotional abuse, you should seek help to safely remove yourself from the relationship and end the cycle of abuse.
If you need support in leaving an abusive relationship, call, text, or chat with trained staff at the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or visit thehotline.org.
If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
While a person who behaves with emotional immaturity can exhibit emotionally abusive patterns, that isn’t always the case.
In fact, research has found that developing a more secure attachment style later in life is possible. Having self-awareness and the desire to develop a more secure attachment style can help a person move in that direction.
If you are in a relationship with someone who behaves with emotional immaturity, you can:
For your partner to understand the consequences of their actions, you have to set boundaries and stick to them. This could mean:
Emotional maturity is a person’s ability to manage their emotions and behaviors in a healthy manner. Emotional maturity helps us resolve conflicts and have satisfying and secure relationships.
Signs of emotional maturity include:
Emotional immaturity involves difficulty controlling emotions, accepting responsibility for your actions, and coping with difficult situations.
While emotional immaturity isn’t always a sign of a mental health disorder, it has been associated with narcissistic personality disorder and emotionally abusive tendencies. That being said, it is not always the case that an emotionally immature person is either a narcissist or abusive.
To help cope with a person behaving with emotional immaturity, set healthy boundaries, initiate productive conversations, and seek out professional help. Becoming emotionally mature is possible, but the person has to want to change in order for it to happen.
11 SourcesVerywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
By Angelica Bottaro
Bottaro has a Bachelor of Science in Psychology and an Advanced Diploma in Journalism. She is based in Canada.
